Wednesday, September 29, 2010


This is the ONLY country song I like :) I know you will like it as much as I do!!

Sunday, September 26, 2010

Highway condom test *FIXED

Highway Condom Test - Watch more Funny Videos

Windows 7 Trick

I'm sure some of you, if not all of you, out there already know this but it's a neat trick in Windows 7 I accidentally discovered. So lets say you have multiple windows open such as 4 folders, a few windows of web browsers, a .pdf file, etc.. and you want to minimize all of the windows except for 1. Simply click and hold on the title bar of the window you want open and shake it left and right a few times and it will auto minimize every screen but the one your holding.

Pretty neat IMO :)

EDIT:: Also if you shake that one screen again, it will re-open all of the windows.

How the future will look in 1950! Printed in 1925.

The Perfect Day.

The Perfect Day for Her:
8:15 Wakeup to hugs and kisses
8:30 Weigh in 5lbs lighter than yesterday
8:45 Breakfast in bed, fresh squeezed orange juice and croissants
9:15 Soothing hot bath with fragrant lilac bath oil
10:00 Light workout at club with handsome, funny personal trainer
10:30 Facial, manicure, shampoo and comb out
12:00 Lunch with best friend at outdoor cafe
12:45 Notice ex-boyfriends wife, she has gained 30lbs
1:00 Shopping with friends, unlimited credit
3:00 Nap
4:00 3 dozens roses delivered by florist, card is from secret admirer
4:15 Light workout at club, followed by gentle massage
5:30 Pick out outfit for dinner, prim before the mirror
7:30 Candlelight dinner for two followed by dancing
10:00 Hot shower (alone)
10:30 Make love
11:00 Pillow talk, light touching and cuddling
11:15 Fall asleep in his big strong arms

The Perfect Day for Him:
6:00 Alarm
6:15 Blowjob
6:30 Massive dump while reading sports section of USA Today
7:00 Breakfast, Filet mignon and eggs, toast and coffee
7:30 Limo arrives
7:45 Stoli Bloody Mary enroute to airport
8:15 DFW - Private G4 to Augusta, Georgia (Coffee, SI and WSJ)
9:30 Limo to Augusta National Golf Club
9:45 Front nine at Augusta (2 under)
11:45 Lunch, 2 dozen oysters on the half shell, 3 Heinekens
12:15 Blowjob
12:30 Back nine Augusta (4 under)
2:15 Limo back to airport (Bombay martini)
2:30 Private G4, Augusta to Nassau, Bahamas (nap)
3:15 Late afternoon fishing excursion with all female (topless) crew
4:30 Land World Record light tackle Marlin (1249 lbs)
5:00 G4 back to DFW, massage & hand job enroute by naked Kathy Ireland
6:45 Shit, shower and shave
7:00 Watch CNN newsflash: Clinton resigns, Hillary and Al Gore farm animal video released and authenticated. (Hillary has a secret mole, Al looks real cold)
7:30 Dinner, Lobster appetizers, Dom Perigon (1963), 20 oz. New York Steak
9:00 Remy Martin and Cuban Partagas cigar
9:30 Sex with three women
11:00 Massage and Jacuzzi
11:45 Bed (alone)
11:50 12 second, 4 note fart, dog leaves the room
11:55 Sleep

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

100 Reasons It's Better to Be a Guy

1. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
2. Movie nudity is virtually always female.
3. You know stuff about tanks.
4. A five day vacation requires only one suitcase.
5. Monday Nite Football.
6. You don't have to monitor your friends' sex lives.
7. Your bathroom lines are 80% shorter.
8. You can open all your own jars.
9. Old friends don't give you crap if you've lost or gained weight.
10. Dry cleaners and haircutters don't rob you blind.
11. When clicking through the channels, you don't have to stall on every shot of someone crying.
12. Your ass is never a factor in a job interview.
13. All your orgasms are real.
14. A beer gut does not make you invisible to the opposite sex.
15. Guys in hockey masks don't attack you.
16. You don't have to lug a bag of useful stuff around everywhere you go.
17. You understand why Stripes is funny.
18. You can go to the bathroom without a support group.
19. Your last name stays put.
20. You can leave a hotel bed unmade.
21. When your work is criticized, you don't have to panic that everyone secretly hates you.
22. You can kill your own food.
23. The garage is all yours.
24. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
25. You see the humor in Terms of Endearment.
26. Nobody secretly wonders if you swallow.
27. You never have to clean the toilet.
28. You can be showered and ready in 10 minutes.
29. Sex means never worrying about your reputation.
30. Wedding plans take care of themselves.
31. If someone forgets to invite you to something, he or she can still be your friend.
32. Your underwear is $10 for a three pack.
33. The National College Cheerleading Championship
34. None of your co-workers have the power to make you cry.
35. You don't have to shave below your neck.
36. You don't have to curl up next to a hairy ass every nite.
37. If your 34 and single nobody notices.
38. You can write your name in the snow.
39. You can get into a nontrivial pissing contest.
40. Everything on your face stays its original color.
41. Chocolate is just another snack.
42. You can be president.
43. You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger seat.
44. Flowers fix everything.
45. You never have to worry about other people's feelings.
46. You get to think about sex 90% of your waking hours.
47. You can wear a white shirt to a water park.
48. Three pair of shoes are more than enough.
49. You can eat a banana in a hardware store.
50. You can say anything and not worry about what people think.
51. Foreplay is optional.
52. Michael Bolton doesn't live in your universe.
53. Nobody stops telling a good dirty joke when you walk into the room.
54. You can whip your shirt off on a hot day.
55. You don't have to clean your apartment if the meter reader is coming by.
56. You never feel compelled to stop a pal from getting laid.
57. Car mechanics tell you the truth.
58. You don't give a rat's ass if someone notices your new haircut.
59. You can watch a game in silence with you buddy for hours without ever thinking "He must be mad at me."
60. The world is your urinal.
61. You never misconstrue innocuous statements to mean your lover is about to leave you.
62. You get to jump up and slap stuff.
63. Hot wax never comes near you pubic area.
64. One mood, all the time.
65. You can admire Clint Eastwood without starving yourself to look like him.
66. You never have to drive to another gas station because this one's just too skeevy.
67. You know at least 20 ways to open a beer bottle.
68. You can sit with your knees apart no matter what you are wearing.
69. Same work....more pay.
70. Gray hair and wrinkles add character.
71. You don't have to leave the room to make an emergency crotch adjustment.
72. Wedding Dress $2000; Tux rental $100.
73. You don't care if someone is talking about you behind your back.
74. With 400 million sperm per shot, you could double the earth's population in 15 tries, at least in theory.
75. You don't mooch off others' desserts.
76. If you retain water, it's in a canteen.
77. The remote is yours and yours alone.
78. People never glance at your chest when you're talking to them.
79. ESPN SportsCenter.
80. You can drop by to see a friend without bringing a little gift.
81. Bachelor parties whomp ass over bridal showers.
82. You have a normal and healthy relationship with your mother.
83. You can buy condoms without the shopkeeper imagining you naked.
84. You needn't pretend you're "freshening up" to go to the bathroom.
85. If you don't call your buddy when you say you will, he won't tell your friends you've changed.
86. Someday you'll be a dirty old man.
87. You can rationalize any behavior with the handy phrase "F*#k it!"
88. If an other guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you might become lifelong buddies.
89. Princess Di's death was almost just another obituary.
90. The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.
91. You never have to miss a sexual opportunity because you're not in the mood.
92. You think the idea of punting a small dog is funny.
93. If something mechanical didn't work, you can bash it with a hammer and throw it across the room.
94. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
95. Porn movies are designed with your mind in mind.
96. You don't have to remember everyone's birthdays and anniversaries.
97. Not liking a person does not preclude having great sex with them.
98. Your pals can be trusted never to trap you with: "So... notice anything different?"
99. Baywatch
100. There is always a game on somewhere.

The Birds and the Beedrills (a song integrating the 151 pokemon as sexual innuendos)

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Watching other people use a computer.

OMG. I can't tell you how many times I have dealt with this shit..

Saturday, September 18, 2010

How to give more than 100% in your daily tasks.

From a strictly mathematical viewpoint it goes like this:   

What Makes 100%?
What does it mean to give MORE than 100%?  Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%?  We have all been to those meetings where someone wants you to give over 100%.  How about achieving 103%?  What makes up 100% in life? 
Here's a little mathematical formula that might help you answer these questions:   


A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z is represented as: 
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26. 
H-A-R-D-W-O-R-K is 

8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98%     

K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E is
11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96% 
A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E   is 

1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100% 

B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T is  

2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20 = 103% 
AND, look how far ass kissing will take you.  

A-S-S-K-I-S-S-I-N-G is 

1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+14+7 = 118%  

So, one can conclude with mathematical certainty that While Hard work and Knowledge will get you close, and Attitude will get you there, it's the Bullshit and Ass kissing that will put you over the top.


Wednesday, September 15, 2010

One super lucky guy

This Is Luck
Look at the top picture and you can see where this guy broke through
the crash barrier (right side where the people are standing on the road).

His truck left the road, traveling from right to left. He flipped
end-over-end, across the culvert outlet and landed on the left side of it.

Now look at the picture below.
This Is Luck

Sunday, September 12, 2010

Handy Household Sex Toy Tips

Sex toys aren’t just for fun in the bedroom – they have many practical uses in your home and office. Here are a few suggestions for repurposing some of your favorites. Pull out those long forgotten toys and put them to work!
                                                                Buttplug Doorstop

Protect your walls from unsightly marks. A silicone buttplug mounts easily on the baseboard and won’t mar the paint on your door.

                                                              Fake Pussy Beer Cozy

Slip a stretchy vagina masturbation toy over your bottle to keep your beer cold and your hands dry. Bonus: every time you take a swig, you get a faceful of pussy.

                                                       Nipple Clamp Eyeglass Keepers
A practical fashion accessory for the naughty librarian in your life.

More can be found here

Saturday, September 04, 2010

Small collection of funny gifs... I'll upload more later

Teen who zapped nipples during shop class sues

DOVER, N.H.: A New Hampshire high school student shocked so severely in shop class that his heart stopped beating is suing his teacher, the school district and the city of Dover.
Kyle Dubois and his parents claim teacher Thomas Kelley did not warn Dubois and other students of the dangers of the electrical demonstration cords in their electrical trades class.
On March 11, Dubois attached an electrical clamp to one nipple while another student attached another clamp to the other. A third student plugged in the cord.
Dubois was critically injured.
The New Hampshire Union Leader says Dubois' suit contends he suffered permanent brain damage.
Kelley resigned from his teaching position about a month after the incident. He declined to comment on the lawsuit.

More here 

Wednesday, September 01, 2010

Some more pranks for everyone, enjoy :)

This next one is fucking awesome!! I lol'd HARD.

An oldie but goodie :)

EMBED-HILARIOUS PRANK - Watch more free videos

Now kids in my opinion are TERRIBLE at pranks and making their own videos. However, this one made me lol a little.

PARTYS!!!!! Just make sure you dont pass out first!

Yes, he passed out standing up!